The shimmering light bounces off the road, blending car bodies into a swirling mirage. A demented Kaleidoscope of trunks and hubcaps, glittering, chrome trim and shocking electric mirror light. Reflections dance like lasers piercing the sky. We are inching forwards. 2.54 cm in the new money. Its trudging slow and the snaking traffic reaches out to the horizon. We are going no place fast. Its baking hot holiday sun cracking the roof paint and searing my optical nerves blind. The car is heavy loaded with people and their stuff. We could be sinking into the road like a melting black river of tar and cars. Who will ever know? “Hey!”, “We’re moving, look!”, says a voice from the backseat. We creep another 3.28984 feet forward; that’s 1 metre in the new money. Klunch!! Oonfp! And dead stop. R*******!!, P*****!!!, What the Hell!?
The driver in front gets out with a face raging thunder. He’s red fit to burst and sweating. I can see his lips moving but can’t hear a word. Windows are tight shut for the A/C. I open the door. The furnace heat blasts in. I must have connected fender to fender (or bumper to bumper for UK readers) It’s a fender bender folks. Time to check the damage. He’s shouting now and closing on me fast. Time to look concerned. It was my fault, right? “Hey, sorry about that. Lets have a look, okay?”
Nothing. Absolutely nothing, nada, not a scratch. We stand there, hands on hips, macho rulers of the ribbon of road that hopefully leads to holiday Shangri-la. Doing what tough men do – facing off over some insult to another man’s motor vehicle.
The world could end right now. An apocalyptic war of words with fists punching the sky is only seconds away. Only now, there is silent space between us. Nothing to complain about. Nothing to apologise for. Moon faces peer from air-conditioned windows at this roadside spectacle. A gladiator show. Some action, distraction.
“Hey mate”, “I’m packing some fresh made spicy tomato sauce in the car – home made fresh this morning. Big juicy flavour made with chipotle pepper guaranteed to make anyone’s day a better place. Great for burgers or roasted potatoes, fish, chicken, veggies – almost anything. Will ya take a bottle as my apology? And no harm done”
Relief breaks across his face. We don’t have to bear bait or hog trap or fisticuffs the moment. The sky will not fall or the planet break in two. Spicy tomato sauce gives us another way out. “Well,,,, yeah, sure, okay, that’ll be nice”, he says.
The deal is done.
Good job I made loads. The crew loves it.
This glorious spicy sauce is fast and easy to make…
- 1 soupspoon of olive oil
- 2 pieces of garlic
- 1 small onion
- 2 sticks of celery
- 1 teaspoon of ground cumin
- 1 teaspoon of ground chipotle pepper (half a teaspoon if you prefer less heat)
- 1 teaspoon of salt
- Half a cup of tomato paste
- 1 cup of tomato frito – or canned tomato soup
Into a medium size skillet or normal cooking pot add…
The olive oil, and let it heat on medium fire.
Then the chopped garlic, onion, celery, cumin, chipotle powder and salt.
Let that all sweat for 5 minutes and then add the tomato frito – or canned tomato soup – and the tomato paste.
Cook slow for another 5 minutes stirring with your favourite drum stick
– then rough blend.
Ready to serve!
Good on all food and – absolutely any kind of hot potato.
Try this on roasties and restore peace to the universe. Soon.